The world is enjoying the peaceful night to rest their tired body while the chatty me is up to write on something before my thoughts will get distracted. How was your Christmas celebration? I had a different kind of Christmas this year. I would say it’s kind of something both joyful and a little sad with a mixture of an unexpected drama. A bit sad because it’s my first Christmas to be away from my family. But at the same time, I’m happily enjoying the fruits of my labor to make my dream come into a reality in pursuing my career development in the land with better opportunities for us nurses. I must consider myself more than lucky to be here. I once dreamed, gave my one hundred percent effort towards my goal then after those challenging moments, finally came to achieve what I’ve been wanting for. You can do it,too with no doubt. Just don’t stop pursuing your target. A sincere encouragement from an optimistic me.
Now, let’s talk about the “little drama” I’m referring to. We all know Christmas season also means gift giving, right? It’s like commemorating the generosity of the three Kings when they visited Jesus. As you’ve noticed on my previous posts’ topic were all about sharing of presents.
What about the sharing thing that made me so conscious?
Have you ever tried of receiving a gift from someone you’ve least expected to be generous to you? For the first time I did. I frankly didn’t know how to react when I first got it. The usual feeling of receiving a surprise present is getting elated, excited to see what’s inside the beautiful wrapped box. Somehow, I didn’t have any of those emotions. To be honest, I was utterly dumbfounded with the biggest question mark in my head,”WHY?”
Why did she even bother to be so nice when in fact she obviously knows we aren’t in a state where we can call ourselves as FRIENDS anymore? Why would she awaken those emotions I’ve already buried for several months now?
Those were my why questions which were evidently showing full of emotions, lots of hate with what happened in the past. Purely negative type of reactions I would say.
The night after I got it, I tried to shut down the hate button in me for a moment. I came to realize how courageous her act is. Not hesitating to reach out to be kind still despite the unquestionable feeling of aversion I got for her. I must be too hurt to completely forget the friendship. Burned bridges again like I usually do when I felt awfully crossed with someone. It’s not a good practice I know but it’s how I protect myself from any painful stimuli.
She gave me these.
I appreciated it more because she exactly knew my love for stationery, writing anything under the sun. Thank you. I may not be able to offer in reconnecting the friendship again, however, I’m praying that time will heal everything when things are settled to what is right in accordance to the heaven’s judgement.
Hoping you may find peace in every decision you make. I don’t have plans of using these. I’ll keep it as a reminder of how things were before and after the bond got broken.
On the other note, some special friends of mine sent me their well thought gifts. I’m happy to share to you what I’ve got from them.
Got these from my lovely Bea. A compact mirror and a circular dish for my accessories. They look so posh and personalized having my first name initial on them. M for M-eautiful. LOL
With my love for writing in which my friends are obviously aware of it, Michio sent me a book of reflection for me to write on my everyday realization. As they said that the more you write your feelings the better you’ll feel good about yourself because you are releasing the tension through writing. The naughty pen came from my ward manager.
Didn’t expect Raf will share his blessings to us. Yay. Thanks Raf. He is the landlord of my friend Michio. You’ve always been there when we needed you without expecting anything in return for your goodness. May you be showered with more blessings.
During our Christmas dinner exchange gift activity in Ate Leslie’s house, Johanna picked my name as her Manita. The funny thing is I was the one who suggested what gifts she could pick for that evening. A hundred percent surprised on what would be my gift. (wink) Happy to receive my own idea gift idea.
My Secret Santa exactly knew what I needed for my skin this winter. Dry skin is so troublesome. Itchiness everywhere. I can’t stand it. Layers of applying moisturizer cream is becoming a part of my daily routine. Thank you for these.
To wrap it up, I still felt so blessed despite the struggles of being an overseas nurse. These blessings weren’t expected at all but God knows how to wipe my tears away during the coldest season of my life.
Wishing you a lovely New Year ahead.