I am writing this post as the bright day is slowly changing into a black curtain drape of the night and while listening to some 90’s slow rhythm love song. Writing makes my whole senses calm when I felt like all the pressures thrown for me to face is starting to squeeze every bit of sanity left in me. It’s like a soft melody soothing my tired self. If you could imagine that.
During the mass today, Father Dawson mentioned something about the joy of success. He explained that in the road towards success we are expected to meet hardships along the way. Those struggles were created not for us to loose hope, rather they were made to mold us into a better Christian. Then a question popped into my head, “Why should we be forced to suffer if we can still be a good follower of Him without getting beaten with exhaustion, without feeling weary of being away from those people we love, without getting hurt?
He continued with his homily explaining you will never appreciate the positive results of your work if you haven’t passed those crisis. Make those moments prove your faith. Let Him lead the way if your eyes are filled with tears blocking your vision to which road to take. I must admit it’s not an easy path of choice I’ve taken to work away from my comfort zone. It’s not a piece of cake like what everybody else is thinking. I am missing my relaxed life with my family.
I super miss my boy and my husband.
But what amazes me is when I started to doubt my decision to continue my profession here, the Lord would always make His own way to remind me not to question His will of sending me here. Not to fret with every stone of challenges of adjustment thrown. Those silent nights when I’m in my room and I’m starting to get sentimental, His voice in my heart says, “BE CALM, BE STILL, I’M HERE MY CHILD.”
Then after a few minutes I can hear my phone beeps. My son is sending me his photos. It’s like an expedited type of communication from heaven telling me my main reason why I decided to become an international nurse in this country, it’s my family.
My first few months of stay here will surely be a bumpy ride because it would mostly include of me getting to know my new life. I got lots of things to study, few cautions to think about and many more down the line. The chapters of my new beginning is starting to slowly unfold. Should I say now,”brace myself!’
Thank you for this day God. You reminded me with Your presence and to trust in YOU with whatever life may bring.