“Our company is sponsoring the Cebu Marathon Run for 2018.” “Can I join?” His question to me before completely signing up for the said marathon.
It’s seldom for a man to ask for a woman’s opinion with regard to any decisions relating to his hobby. But in a married life, it’s a crucial part to let your partner know these details. I don’t see it as a sign of weakness for a man to consider his partner’s opinion. Rather, I find it as a gesture of respect. Respect in considering the feelings of your spouse before making a decision. Checking if the actions planned won’t cause any conflict with your relationship.
I answered his question, of course with a yes. Taking efforts in gaining active interest to his leisure pursuit is my way of reciprocating my respect for his wants. Respect should be mutually exercised within the context of marriage. It’s one of the operating principles in making our married life work in harmony and it needs constant effort to make it possible. Sometimes, exhausting at some stage because we have to negotiate and compromise with each of our own differences.
It’s a fact that both of us are different in so many ways. Obviously, he was raised different from the way I was raised. There will always be an occasion when our convictions will clash. Like for instance, when he has a task to accomplish, it will take him few moments to finish it by making sure every details were covered. While the time conscious me, would prefer to do all my responsibilities in one snap of a finger. I am always in a hurry while he’s the opposite, the relax kind of person. We often get into disagreements because of this disparity of how we take things. Instead of spending our life changing each one of us, we chose to practice tolerating and appreciating differences.We need to accept that we are unique and we are greatly aware about this distinction. That’s when mutual respect comes into the picture by agreeing to disagree helping us strengthen our relationship.
Aside from the given differences, we also had developed awareness of each of our behaviors. His question on whether he can join the marathon or not didn’t simply mean asking for permission. It was a subtle question asking if we didn’t have any plans for the date of the event which may be affected if he would participate.
How did I manage to understand the deeper message behind the question of my husband?
The more you spend time with someone, the more familiar you’ll become with his communication style. I get to study his cues when he is up to something, his mannerisms and both his verbal as well as his non verbal way of expressing his message. It’s a matter of learning how to adjust with him and vice versa. He, on the other hand, also has established to learn more about me. I’m not just merely making an assumption about him. He said it several times whenever I asked ,”How did you know how am I feeling?” His response is as simple as, “I know you.” I don’t need to argue because he’s right. He knew it even before any words were uttered. It’s like a bonus for us in initiating our mutual understanding since we can consciously anticipate our feelings.
Fascinating, isn’t it? That’s about getting and living the married life.(Shrugged shoulders)
He, by the way, managed to finish his 21k Marathon despite a little training accompanied by rain showers during the event. Congrats Teddy.♥