We were supposed to go somewhere north last Sunday, however, we chose to go malling instead to spend our time off together. I just felt lazy doing long travel. Bummer! It was a planned treat for my birthday which would mean I got the freedom to choose whatever I wanted to do. Hooray! Let’s pause my excitement to write about our free time today. I want to let you know what took place last night. We had a heated discussion with Mon the night before my birthday. So what exactly happened?

I asked him if he already had ordered my birthday cake and he told me to buy one in the local cake store in town without any sense of getting alarmed for not preparing anything. That was strike one! Once in a blue moon, I also wanted to experience having a not so ordinary cake to satisfy my sweet tooth. He argued buying cake isn’t healthy, too sweet, too much calories, in short he was trying to convince me of the less nutritional benefits of it. Mon is always so concerned with what I eat. He constantly reminds me of being cautious when I sometimes indulge myself to unhealthy food. I knew he got his point right but eating a slice of cake won’t definitely ruin my glucose balance inside my body. I get it, I’m being stubborn! What infuriated me wasn’t really about the cake. It was about his effort. I felt he wasn’t excited to share my happiness. Maybe, I was expecting too much from his busy schedule. He got projects waiting for completion and here I am wanting for his attention. ☺

“Have you bought any presents for me?” my second question feeling already disappointed with my first question.

“Will buy it together,” he answered. This was strike two! How can it be called a surprise gift if it’s me who’s going to shop for it? That was the last straw. I felt hopeless for expecting anything from him. I told him how disappointed I was.

He went out of the house without telling me as to where he was heading to after we had an argument. An hour after, he came back bringing his cake and his present.

img_20181125_1919221197711081057788842.jpg

Mango Mambo from Leona’s Cakes

He bought me my first winter sweater  preparing for my future use. Thank you. My frustration was not pacified because of him buying what I wanted. I felt better when I sensed his sincere intentions during our conversation  to make  it up to me on  what was lacking in his actions to celebrate my happiest day. He isn’t a perfect husband. I am aware of it. But I’m always thankful Mon has a willing heart ready to accept my wife drama moments.

Thank you Teddy. Your patience is unbelievably exceptional to handle all the dramas I have. You know how to embrace the irrational side of me. Please remember I do appreciate it ALWAYS.

If you are engaged in an argument with your spouse we needed to follow some golden techniques to resolve it.

  1. Acknowledge your spouse’s feelings. You’re simply fueling the fire of their anger if you’ll continue to ignore their disappointment.
  2. Apologize without getting defensive. Accept the fact you made a mistake and be ready to correct it.
  3. Express your feelings to your spouse on how to resolve the issue. Don’t delay and wait for the ill feelings against each other to build up. It’s not healthy in a relationship to keep hurt feelings. Be expressive but never forget to be gentle in expressing it.
  4. Lastly, say I love you more often, enjoy hugs and kisses together. Stay in love.

monsieur-la-doulaise_regular-1